persimmons and pancakes


they are actually crêpes but persimmons and crêpes didn’t rhyme well… 😊

grateful for the colors i fill my life with. it’s important for me to cultivate a safe home for myself. last weekend, for an empty sunday afternoon, i decided i would sweep up my wooden floors and open up the windows (to let the crisp cold air in). i just had a good breakfast a home-made crêpe and a hachiya persimmon…… yes ! a hachiya !

last week after work i hopped on an acela and went to new york, because my friend came to nyc from san fran for a conference and of course, we have to meet and when i arrived at the penn station, she met me with a hachiya persimmon and it made me giddy with happiness. hang on to your friends who meet you at a railway station with a persimmon ! we went to east village and roamed around holding hands and i found some hachiya persimmons and bought them… i am admiring my bounty as we speak !

she was put in a days inn hotel by some mistake and she and i giggled so much over this and i wanted to share this with everyone on facebook and she threatened me that if i did this, she will tell our network of friends about my love for terry…

she and i decided we would color our hairs with purples and so we bought the colors and dyed our hairs but as we have black hair (and we should have bleached our hairs first) it kind of gave a hint of color but not drastically and now whenever i wash my hair it bleeds purple. i’m convinced my work gym people will throw me out as i keep purpling their towels…

i’ve decided i will work out at the gym (at work) as increasingly i am not finding time to go to my gym after i get home from work, as jack decides not to as he was feeling lazy or as my kids are all having sniffles i’m running around hosptial or pet store and i have oodles of time at work and i am not the one who sits and twiddles thumbs and so i started going to the gym and started working out with the weights and stuff and my lungs are still problematic which makes me get bloated on and off depending on my lungs, but i think i need to just bite the bullet and work out even when i am unable to breathe.

and i usually warm up on the treadmill to get the target heart rate before i hit the weights, and i usually wipe down the equipment before and after using them as i am germaphobe and one time, one of the superiors from my department was there on an elliptical opposite to me and when he was done he proceeded to wipe down the entire machine and i wanted laugh so hard, i mean, men just are so full of y chromosome… !

this week’s accomplishments included me making 14,000 steps and i have found a co-relation between the heart rate and racking up the steps. i’ve this habit of salsa dancing if i am not tired enough and so the other night i was happily dancing and i forgot to remove my fitbit and in half hour i racked up 2000 steps and when i achieved my goal of 14,000 steps fitibit threw out some fireworks… so yay !

jack’s daughter (yes he is a bisexual and now gay and married to a guy) got her first period and a very panicky jack called me and i went to the drug store to get some cups as liz wanted a menstrual cup and i am not really fond them myself but i taught her how to use them and i get to be a mum for a whole hour and i was quite please with this.

i went to dinner with the italian and he talked about how he’s listening to christmas  songs and talked about christmas the whole time and when he asked if we can meet again, i said no. and no, this time it’s not about terry at all. his conversation had no substance and he actually isn’t currently reading any books (remember, he said he reads books ! he lied, the bastard). and also, i found the italian’s voice is super annoying and i can’t deal with that. i need a man who has a sexy voice which would make me swoon. like when i talk to him on the phone, i shouldn’t be trying to hang up… 😊

funny story; my voice on the phone is quite sexy (i am not sure about it now as i sound stuffed up) and i know this for a fact because many people have said this (men) and my aunt one time called me to talk about something and she was like you should tone down the sexiness in your voice… umm, i wasn’t trying to be sexy ? my husband used to tease me saying i should become one of the 900 persons, you know who talk sex to people on the phone. one time i said it’s not enough to have a sexy voice, one should also say sexy things like take off your panties and shit like that and i would just read some scientific article and men don’t pay to hear me read a scientific journal about alzheimer’s and my boy went, i would pay you even if you read me the phone book… lol and yeah, well, i am not saying that i’m a prude and actually it’s quite the opposite as i am quite a slut in bed but i don’t end up bedding anyone i am not in love with so….

my kitty boy zazie is now fully upgraded to be one of my kids ie utterly spoiled and moody and bratish. his name evolved from zach to z to zz and to zazie…. zazie is one of the french pop singers and z fell in love with her songs and he wags his tail to her songs.

it’s been quite a handful of days these days and i can’t explain to you, even if i tried, that i traveled a distance in reasons beyond needing a selfish conclusion to this murky feeling i had been swimming in for the past few months. there is a fate which drew us together, connecting us despite distance and time. i let you into my life without complaint, allowed myself to be more vulnerable than ever before, showed you my world and mistakes, hoped to allow you to do the same. i walked into something i knew would end with a truth that would leave me unable to hold onto something anymore, the consequences of falling in love with someone when the burden i’m carrying is too heavy and the result of the right person in the wrong circumstances;

when i saw you yesterday after you returned, you looked so tired and old and i wanted to smooth those creases away and kiss your tired eyes and hold you close to my heart  and i wanted to care but wouldn’t because of the things tugging against us. i wondered how long a person can keep quietly caring, silently praying with pleas of desperate hope to fates unknown, the foolish hopeful thoughts we move towards fearlessly.

is there any other way ?


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