et bonne année 2018

here are some of my fireworks and the reason(s) for my existence. horus, my brave little warrior, came home yesterday with his e-tube and he is well and i’m like one step away from getting a veterinary technician license. minnu, the next few photos, in glorious blissful sleep and then buttons, pepper with their still sleepy hobo-esque mama and the last photo is where my lap held four kitties at once (pepper, anubis, minnu & bastet). in case you are wondering, when i’m home, i spend a lot of time in my bed, getting up occasionally for pee breaks, and to stretch & get coffee.

twenty-seventeen or two-thousand-and-seventeen or whatever the hell you want to call it, was a big year. i know that for all intents and purposes, most years are big by nature but this one was especially so.  for whatever reason i find each year is increasingly hard and i find myself saying to myself, i can’t do this anymore. nevertheless, i persisted (remember the hashtag ?).

a lot happened this year, so much so that i don’t know if i can express everything in words. i will, however, try. this year i learnt a lot about myself. i wouldn’t go as far to say that i “found myself” but i know who i am now growing into or molding into.

i was loved a lot this year, thank goodness, by good people with warm hearts and open minds and those people mean more to me than anyone. i did a lot of things i thought i would never do and i surprised myself in both good and bad ways. when properly angered i know what i am capable of doing and i have some good people who found it wise to take me into their arms and let me not do something stupid.

i moved past a lot of hurt and learnt that you can live through hell and you can then become a different, quieter self but ultimately stronger person for it.

i danced a lot. i worked a lot. i worked hard. i learned and studied and decided that i should wait until i’m ready, and i finally believe i am. i wished a lot that i drank a lot to subdue the pain.

ultimately, i was pushed out of my comfort zone this year. i didn’t know what i was doing a lot of the time. i found tangible, real, life-changing aspirations and dreams.

i have an intelligent brain and heart, and i know what it means to live. everything else has been a wonderful, indulgent embellishment.

2017, thank you for being so fucking difficult, because i needed to know how strong i really was, and that the year before did not, in fact, break me. i learnt how to be good to myself. i learnt how to say “i’ll persist”.

as usual, grateful to god for giving us peace and a year of content, and for his unending blessings & protection for me & my babies, for giving us another year to laugh, cuddle and love.

happy new year 2018 and hope this year is also full of laughs, good health, lots of love and peace and may we all be blessed and content this year as well.

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