not sure if it’s because i’ve been sick for the past few days that got me all twirling and whirling like in a roller coaster with my feelings or it could be because i’ve been exposed to delirious, delicious dreams due to lack of sleep, but i needed to hurry back to my state of sanity; either way, you were here with me, lying next me, face filled with affection; i dream so much of you or him or you ! i feel comfortable to feel vulnerable again. you are the heat to my coldness how easy it is to succumb to you… the you or him or is that you ? you, tender, fresh, raw, throbbing (may be like a steak) and the self that i’ve been yearning, aching to see… to touch… the one i long to hold, pulsing against my flesh… your body, limbs, face and all that is the every fiber of your being… with all that’s worth every fiber of my being, a tragedy or a delicacy or perhaps, a turkish delight ! and lord, i called the universe / stardust and what’s magical and mightier than it to keep me in this state of star dust where i never had to lose sight of you again… i’ll stay in that lucidity or limbo if you were to stay in my field of vision… let me stay there, here, if that’s where you, him, you will reside in this lifetime or the next. but then, oh no ! alas ! no, here i’m again, again, again awakened to the sound of the birds twittering, cats mewing & staring at the snow falling gently, & listening to the gentle beat of my heart falling in love with you again & still it is your arrival i’m fond of the most…. me wishing upon a dandelion for your return, just like the lonesome traveler returning to his lover… and oh how i’d wish for you to come home to me… !!