blackhole

blackholethe first picture of a black hole in history !

when i saw this photo, i let out a small gasp !

the global project “event horizon telescope” (eht) was focusing on two black holes through several worldwide-spanning radio telescopes over years. finally, it could make this picture from an ultra-massive black hole from the galaxy messier 87. it is the first time humankind could make a picture from a black hole.

april 10, 2019 is a wonderful day for humanity as we had our first visual confirmation of the existence of blackhole; a feat which is as huge as getting the first flight out into space perhaps.

anyone else feeling super existential with all of this blackhole talk going on ? the scientist in me had a wee bit existential angst ! god, space continually reminds me how puny i’m, and that death is permanent and that my consciousness is temporary and will one day cease to exist forever and even when life hurts so much sometimes i just want to exist to experience nothing;  like i won’t even experience nothing because i won’t be there to experience nothing. being a floating consciousness in nothingness is at least something. i know i won’t care about being nothing when i am nothing but i am something right now and i hate and fear and cry at the idea of being nothing. fuck my existential angst !

tbh, i’m as excited as the next person that we’ve hit this milestone and now have a picture of a real blackhole, but it’s super frightening at the same time when i remember that there is a goddamn blackhole in our milky way. the one that will most likely destroy earth one day, if our own sun doesn’t burn us up first. obviously we wouldn’t ever be engulfed by the blackhole within our lifetime, but the thought of a definitive end to all humanity always really freaks me out royally.

this is largely because one of the things that i hope will come of my life is that i will do something long lasting. i don’t want to be like everybody else who just floats away into oblivion and not really experience life. you know what i mean ? like they exist but they don’t make an impact on the society and actually strike that, they don’t even make an impact on their own life. i’m ambitious and i want to have no regrets when i die. i mean, i want to at least make an impression on at least one person or two, who would tell stories about me (hopefully with admiration). i want to create art and stories that will hopefully be passed down or rediscovered generations after i have passed away. i like that humans have culture and remember people who have died for so long that people still speak their name hundreds of years after anyone was able to live at the same time as them.

basically, what i’m saying is, i hope humans never stop learning or growing and exploring the boundaries of life and universe.  a lot of us are hurting the planet as well as each other, but there’s so much good being smothered by all of that and i don’t want it to just go away. i hope humans can redeem themselves and may be find a new earth or change our earth.  i hope that we can somehow harness blackholes. i hope we can outlive our sun. anything that will keep the good aspects of humanity going. hell, i’ll even take the off chance that other intelligent lifeforms adopt our remains and learn to read and decipher our books and art, whether it be aliens or a species among us that evolve to a similar state of mind.

i want to be immortal. i want the chance to live forever. not literally, but through the ages, through words and culture and history. i don’t want humanity to go extinct to the point of there being no evidence of whatsoever.

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