valentine’s

i would love to have a week of saturdays… these past few days were gloomy and colder than usual, where february was behaving like april, and my twins were cooped up inside the house and i read myself to oblivion. this weekend was promised to be warmer.  on friday, i thought i’d be clever and go to bed early, get a full night of sleep; worked great until i sat up fully awake at 3 am with my brain holding a knife to my throat like, “don’t test me bitch” and so on saturday as it was promised to be warmer, i woke up bright and early (again) around 4:30 am and waited patiently for the sun to come up and warm us up so we all could go out for a bit of fresh air. and as of 8:00 am the temps were still at 28 f, practically a  heat wave considering it was 17 f at 4:30 am. by the time we actually got to go out was about 3 pm but sunday was warmer still and the boys and i got to go out and frolic. this afternoon i went on a long ass walk with the boy and it was incredible.we walked along this river and it was a really small one but it had big river energy lots of small islands and old,very old broken down buildings. one thing we saw was the fundament of an old mill and i just fell in love with that path we took. merveilleux  !! with each outing in nature, i step deeper into a wonderland (like alice’s)

i stayed and worked from home on valentine’s day as my furnace was acting funny and i scheduled someone to come and take a look. when the boy found out, he sent me one rose every hour starting at 8 am till he came to have supper with me around 7ish pm and he got me another dozen roses. needless to say, i loved all his effort at romance even though it was not his original idea. you see, my love, julien sent me 19 bouquets of roses on my 19th birthday ! we sat out for a bit in bitter cold looking at the stars till our bums were numb.

he did the valentines date night the next day where he cooked me dinner and chocolate fondue and later we sat on his couch, legs intertwined, and watched “corner gas” and laughed  so much because it is such a funny show and heavily made out like a couple of teenagers.  it was my turn to do the valentines date and this saturday and took him to a jazz restaurant; confession: there was this really nice jazz restaurant i wanted to go, but i am thinking i would go there with american boy if we ever hook-up and what does this say about me ? i’m known to break things with my bare hands, in a bloodied knuckles type of way. it’s just me and my thoughts at 3 am. it’s not really a secret how i’m always soft for him. all silk and rose and honey under the beaming full moon. my telescope heart has seen all the winding roads and blinding lights, but home still leads me back to the comfort of his voice which is like a soundtrack for my summer.

the night sky knows me too well and sometimes i wonder if you maybe see me whenever you look up even then the familiarity of uncertainty filled the room; old ghosts knocking at the door. . i tiptoe through the doubts and the reminiscent touches of lovers who don’t understand that love is not an elixir for everything. and past it all, there is this boy who stands with a laugh that is as bright as a daydream and a smile that plays like an endless loop in my head. like the stories of how two people met and it was nothing short of serendipitous and everything romantic, but there is something hazy, about the way i free fall into this feeling. still, it all feels liberating. what i am trying to say is, he makes me weightless and it is great to be in my own skin and the fact that i don’t have to try and impress him at all.

to love is not to imagine that we love; it’s to act as though we loved and that’s how we discover, one day, that we truly love.  jacques de bourbon-busset, french writer

hope you all had a wonderful valentine’s as well even if it is something the greeting card companies concocted.

Bises !

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